“In that moment I was drowning and truly believed I was going to die. I thought to myself, ‘How can I expect God to let me into His kingdom? All the wrongs I have done, how can he forgive and love me?’”

I was born and raised into a very religious family and attended a private Christian School for my entire school life. Being in such an environment I was taught about Christ at a young age and I knew all the answers I needed in life to become a Christian—or so I thought. It was at the age of 8 or 9 when I went into my parent’s bedroom and began to ask them questions about how to get saved. The same night I prayed what my parents told me to pray and truly thought that I had received Christ.

But after that night nothing had changed in my life. Yes I wanted to be a good kid, and I even started to read and pray on my own, but at the core nothing changed.

In middle school my “good and easy” life came crashing down. Satan really got ahold of me. I fell into a deep state of depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, and much more. As I continued to live in this state of life I went to my high school church camp and that is where God revealed to me that I had been running from Him all of my life. I felt so guilty and convicted of my sin. The Holy Spirit was rushing into my body and urging me to repent of all I have done and turn to God. I repented of my sin, trusted in Christ and received his merciful gift of eternal life.

Fast forward a couple of years and you will find me running around the country guiding hunting and fishing trips. This is where my story truly begins. My second year of guiding I went way off of the deep end and showed no sign of coming back up. It was the first time in my entire life where I was absolutely free to do whatever I wanted. In times of loneliness I turned back to the things of the world. I turned to women to comfort me. I turned to alcohol and drugs. You name it— I have done it and then some. It felt as if the only thing that brought me joy were women and highs or hunting and fishing. I had this huge hole in my heart that needed to be filled. Deep down I knew what would fix it, but for a couple of years I continued to throw my life away. For what? One night stands? A quick high? My state of depression continued to be overwhelming and I contemplated suicide.

I finally reached out to God and my parents. And after a lot of prayer and getting the physical help I needed I thought I was good. But I was still missing a key person in my life. God never abandoned me, and never will, but I sure abandoned Him. And although I got help and was doing well for a little while, I once again started to seek comfort in all the wrong places. It wasn’t until a near death experience where God really got my attention.

I was 22 years old and fully thought I was going to die. And in that moment where I was drowning in a ditch, helplessly pinned underneath a mower, I thought to myself “how can I expect God to let me into His kingdom?” All the wrong I have done, how can he forgive and love me?

At the last second, a man jumped in and lifted my head above water so I could breath. But you see, here is what I realized that day: God is a loving God, and He will not abandon His children, no matter what! I’d been seeking comfort in all the wrong things, yet God was still faithfully pursuing me and calling me to himself.

I now have a deep desire to seek after God and to truly live my life for Him. There is nothing I would rather do than to live a life that reflects Him. Satan will continue to attack me but I know that Jesus is better and the only one worthy of living for. God will never leave me or forsake me.

God has truly blessed me with a career path in hunting that many dream for. I am eternally grateful for who I work for and for all the relationships I have built through hunting. Because of my job I get to meet new faces from around the world day just about every day. Talk about a huge ministry opportunity! I want to live as a testimony to the world of how a loving God pursues sinful people and transforms them one day at a time.